There are things, lies, that replay in my head, unfortunately some are not positive. I need to change this. This is not the way God wants us to live. He sees us as amazing humans that He created for a purpose.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10
This verse should be on the forefront not the negative lies I tell myself. I want to reveal these lies and call them, so they no longer have a hold on me.
Lie #1 – You are not loved.
This one gets loud when I withdraw. I don’t always withdraw for negative reasons. Sometimes I try to get organized or I have a project at work that needs my extra time and attention. I then get tired and just want to veg or rest. So, my family respects my wishes, but then I start the scenario of thinking they are happy without me, they don’t need or want me around.
I begin to create fantasy conversations of how my husband would rather be with someone older, younger, smarter, prettier and so on. Really just someone different so therefore he doesn’t love me. Why would he love me? I have nothing to offer, contribute little financially, get angry over silly things, don’t want to cook every night, and never make him breakfast or lunch during the week. No one would even notice if I walked out the door and never returned. This is a ginormous lie!
Lie #2 – You are not good enough.
I have a math degree. I am smart but, yet I feel inadequate when it comes to writing. Doing research and reading on all kinds of topics is a passion. And yet feel that I have nothing to add. That I am not worthy of being a leader. I like leading. I feel comfortable in leadership positions. Yet I feel unworthy. Just not enough. I am constantly beating myself up on whether I am educating my children right. Did I fail them by not putting them in sports? A multitude of little lies that wear me down.
Lie #3 – You are not physically attractive.
I have gained some weight since we got married. I hate my hair. Since having children, one child gave me partially curly hair with random thickness. My hair takes forever to grow since the second child. We also live in a very cloudy grey area, so my hair has gotten darker. It needs sun. My teeth have never been straight. Brown spots started showing up on my face in my 20’s. However, there is no interest in coloring my hair or buying beauty products that cost a lot of money in hopes they might work. I really think this is a waste of time and money. I believe in the natural look as well as my husband. And yet, I don’t feel like I measure up. I look around and think I can’t even compete. So why do I compare myself to others?
These are all lies.
I know that I am loved, am good enough and physically attractive. I must fight the lies by shouting the truth louder than the lies. It is a battle. But this is one that I am determined to win. I find when we think of ourselves in a negative light all the time it can be as detrimental as being overly confident. Why? Because I am focusing on me, whether positively or negatively. When my focus is on me, my focus is wrong. My eyes will be turned to God and God alone. He loves me, knows I am amazing and created me beautifully.
O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. Psalm 139:1-2
I love this. This is the reminder of God’s love that I need to turn to. Here is where my focus will go. God examines our entire being. He knows me and you through and through, and yet His love grows deeper and wider. He knows these thoughts, these lies. God speaks truth and love.